Sometimes without any thought of malice, words pop out of our mouths before we realize what we have said. Widows/widowers are forgiving knowing that often people do not know what to say, but stopping a moment before speaking can prevent many uncomfortable situations.
What NOT to Say to a Widow/Widower
- I'm as serious as a heart attack or I about had a stroke.
- My husband's been gone all week on a business trip, now I know what it feels like to be a widow.
- My brother died last year. I know just how you feel.
- Do you miss your husband/wife?
- Don't say anything that begins with the words "at least." "At least he/she isn't suffering any longer." "At least you have kids to keep you busy,"
- You are young; you'll remarry.
- I know someone who found a new husband through one of those online dating services; maybe you should try that.
- I know someone who had that type of cancer but they lived!
- Do you think your children will remember their father/mother?
- Did you see angels in your husband's/wife's room when they were dying?
- Your husband/wife is in a better place now!
- Time heals all wounds.
- God chooses special people for special tasks. He knew you could handle this.
- It's been six months. Are you ready to move on now?
- All things work together for good!